I go to the University of Alabama.
I fall in love with a new girl everyday.
My favorite color is yellow.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
one time i explained post limit to my mom and she says
“is that why you get off the computer sometimes”
i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about
Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser